Mummy wars and the fear of backlash...

All about Anne, StyleAnne Freeman

babein is on the brink of launch (yay!) and yet I’ve had this little nagging anxiety (boo!) since we did the lookbook shoot. The whole philosophy of babein is for stylin mummas to be able to parent attentively and affectionately without feeling like they’ve lost their style, their sass, their core fabulousness. I spent weeks putting together the looks for our photo shoot and, with the exception of a couple of pieces bought especially, all the clothes are mine. In fact, most of them are outfits I’ve worn on any given day while parenting Davie. They’re comfortable, allow for easy breastfeeding and are totally stylin. And yet I’m worried that someone, somewhere will pipe up and say that my lookbook shoot is unrealistic. That I’m somehow expecting mothers to live up to some ridiculous fashion standard which couldn’t be further from the truth. My overarching desire is to empower new mummas to be whatever they need to be, to be happy.
The thing is, we all express ourselves differently. I myself have always been a make-up wearer. I am no oil painting without it. When I first had Davie I tried life without make-up. I figured that it was what I was meant to do - give myself a break from preening and just relax into my little cloud of sleep deprivation and love. The only problem was that after tending to Davie all night - what I affectionately term “the night shift” - I would feel completely squashed and miserable the next day. Unless… I got up, dusted myself off, put on something cheerful and gave myself a quick going over from my trusty make-up case. My mood would lift, the cloud of exhaustion parted slightly and I would go out and greet the day. I guess it was a kind of Fake It Til You Make It situation but it worked. With my armour of eyeliner and lipstick I would interact with people while out and about, make conversation, crack jokes and feel, well… human. My improved disposition also made me a better mother - bubbly, energetic, fun! So make-up, a seemingly superficial thing, actually helps to bolster my psyche in a very tangible way.
The truth is I admire women who can go out into the world bare-faced and brazen and I wish that I could do so with confidence too. My 2 best friends Elysia and Marion, whose dazzling external beauty is only surpassed by their glorious internal beauty, rarely wear make-up outside of social outings and I’m in awe of them. In fact it was they who inspired me to give it a go myself!
The spirit of babein is about mummas being able to retain their own unique flavour of sass, whatever that may entail. Far too often we hear stories of mummy wars and mother-shaming because we don’t seem to support each other enough. No two mothers are the same, just as no two babies are the same and quite frankly we’re all just doing the best we can. There is no one “right” way to do anything - if there was the entire parenting book/product/blog industry would crumble! So I guess what I’m saying is, as with politics and religion, let’s just put our parenting and personal philosophies to one side and be nice to each other for a change. Let’s support each other without judgment, because no-matter how we each tackle our days, we’re actually freaking nailing it.